Graduation Rites

University graduation 2006:

1. Intense sun + no lunch + no shade + nondescript guest speaker = aggravated boredom
2. 12 summas + 100-odd magnas + 500-odd cum laudes + thousands of average graddies = long afternoon
3. Digital cameras + camera freaks + nothing else to do = photo ops before, during and after speeches
4. thirsty crowd + absence of wandering vendors within the grounds = graduates upping and leaving for cooler pastures

College Recognition Rites 2006:
1. Hot midday sun + persistent and misleading corsage vendors = enemy at the gates
2. Ill-fitting togas + safety pins = pricked fingers
3. Hardworking graddie + many awards = race to the stage
4. Graddies with kids + Dean on stage = grandfather syndrome
5. High heels + spray-wired hair = immense discomfort

Solution: one biggie Wendy's iced tea + 12 hours of sleep